Default Intro: This Is My Friend

What do you call your significant other who has not made it clear he wants you to be his lady or that she considers you her man? Indecision complicates a relationship when a man or woman is forced to read between the lines to guess where the relationship is headed or where they stand with each other. Some people advocate women being aggressive to let a man know she is interested in him. That is a matter of personal standard, but traditionally, the man initiates pursuit.

In these times, there are still mixed signals sent about what is out of date and what is the new thing. As Jill Scott’s “Fact Is” renders, “some things just don’t change.” If a man does not let a woman knows where she stands with him, she is not going to assume she can announce or introduce him as “my man.” The default label will be “my friend.” Ambiguous use of “my friend” has been the root of many break ups.

When there is no commitment except to be casual sex partners, the label cannot be my fiance. The description might be “this is my friend.” If the relationship is in its early stages and the two are not quite sure about each other, then each will describe the other as “my friend.” Unfortunately, my friend also describes a wholesome platonic relationship where neither party is interested in the other except to be good friends.

Only a man in love will risk rejection to be bold enough to let the woman know exactly how he feels.  This helps her know where she stands in his world. So the introduction will be, “this is my man” or “this is my love” rather than this is my friend.